I have been thinking too much lately. I’m not overly happy with my life and want change. The other day I saw a job that would be perfect for me and I jumped on it. I was going to apply for the job and I knew that I could sell myself to this organization. I would be useful again. I would earn my own money …. help out with our retirement fund. Then I started thinking … my house is a mess and needs major renovations and I promised I would spend more time with my mother. I wanted to be creative again.
I realized going for this job really isn’t an option for me right now. If I take the job I’ll continue living in this broken down house. Time will slip away and nothing will ever change. I need change in my life. Positive change. I need to take time for me. I need to get healthy, fit and happy. Change, change, change.
So how do I make these changes? How do I get to the place I want to be? I started this blog to make changes and then it sort of slipped away from me. Now I need to take it seriously.
Step one. Breakfast. Tomorrow’s breakfast is already make. I made steel cut oats in the crockpot (my nephew started me on them and I love them now). Healthy eating starts now.
Step two: No junk food.
Step three: Move more.
Please keep me on track.
Before I can work on increasing my happiness I need to identify what makes me unhappy. What causes me stress. What things pull me down? Who upsets me and fills me with negative feelings? What am I missing in my life?
Stress in my life is caused by sneaky, lying people who smile and tell you one thing while they are doing something behind my back. Problem is not much gets past me. I don’t call these liars out … I just know what they are doing and let them continue lying to me. This needs to change.
I worry about financial security. Who knew the economy would tank? The sale of the practice, the sale of the building all worry me.
I have only one close friend. I have no girlfriends to go to the movies with, shopping with or to hang out. I have one friend but she is extremely social and I am just one of her many friends. I would like to have a best friend that has time for me.
I am fat and unfit. I need to change this so I can enjoy my life. Garbage in … Garbage out. I eat garbage. I need to change this and I need to get fit. I will never be pretty but I want to get to the point where I don’t minds having my photo taken.
As much as I love my husband I am worried we will have nothing in common once I stop working with him. I want to develop common interests and work at strengthening our relationship as our work relationship ends.
I lost control of my life 10 years ago and I need to take charge again. I need to fix my house.
I love my children more than life itself but I feel I have short-changed them over the last several years. I want to change that and spend more quality time with them.
Lastly something that makes me very sad is how I let my father down. I will address this one later.