And When I Die …

I want the people who love me to be able to say, “oh she lived a wacky, loving, happy life”.

When I was growing up my favourite aunt was considered “eccentric”.  I loved going to her place.  She lived in an old farm-house in a small village outside a small town.  She was larger than life, loud, flamboyant and creative.  When I was small I would go and explore her house while the family would visit.  There were secret passageways between the walls, I spent hours creeping along the walls and finding new passageways.  As I got older I spent more and more time in her company and I would listen to her stories about faeries living in the trees, of how we should treat nature and her religious beliefs.  She believed she was a modern-day Druid.

When my daughter was born I would take her up to the farm with me.  My aunt was a master weaver and she was teaching me how to spin.  We would take the freshly shorn wool, carded it, spun it and died it together while my daughter played beside us.  I loved those afternoons.  I knew people who my aunt was eccentric, crazy, wacky but I thought she was wonderful.  Her home was a drop in centre for all sorts of people, artists, gays, cerebral people … it was like a melting pot.  Once my son was  born it became difficult for me to go visit there anymore.

My aunt’s funeral was an event.  Her ex-husband was the host.  It was packed with all sorts of people.  My mother clucked and clucked … by this time she and her sister hadn’t spoken to each other for years.  I mourned the light that had left this earth.

So this is the long way around to say I want to be that kind of person.  I want my creative juices to flow, I want to live a fun life.  My life has become boring for the past twenty years.  Work consumed me. I had some many dreams and they went by the wayside.  I wanted to design jewellery, create glass creations but there just wasn’t any time.  I lost so much time and I want it back.

So now it is time to fly kites, slay dragons, rekindle my passions and embrace my inner wackiness.  There is no more “tomorrow” … time is running out.

I want to make a difference in someone’s life and change my own.  Help me.  Give me any advice you have!

Bucket List

I have decided this is a good time to start my bucket lost. I have already crossed off many things on my bucket list (such as touching Uluru) so this is for moving forward. This post will constantly evolve and be updated. Once I complete an item I will bold it and continue working on my list until I die.

My list is (in no particular order):

Learn a new language. For some reason I have always wanted to learn Italian or Spanish. I would like to be able to have a casual conversation in another language.

I would like to take cooking lessons, either in person or online, so I can make extraordinary meals.

I want to start a cookbook blog of favourite family recipes.

I would like to learn how to play chess. This will help my brain as I age.

I want to learn CPR.

I would like to see a real iceberg.

I would like to visit the British Museum.

I would like to go to the Dali Museum.

I have ALWAYS wanted to write a book.

I would like to fly a kite.

I would like to take art lessons. I would like to know how to paint or draw.

I want to take photography lessons and learn how to use Photoshop.

I would like to read 25 of the top novels of all time.

I want to see a live volcano.

I want to visit Key West.

I would like to go to Holland and see where my father was born.

I want to be proud of something I create in fused glass.

I would like to drive through Nappa Valley.

I would like to visit New Orleans.

I would like to visit England, see the historical sites like castles, Stonehenge etc.

I would like to take a bus tour of Italy.

I would like to photograph the Loch Ness monster.

I would like to learn how to knit.

I want to finish Adam’s Christmas stocking.

What’s My Talent

I wish I had some sort of talent. My daughter is the most talented person I know. Thirty years old and no matter what she tries to do she excels at. She could easily make her living as writer or an artist. She designs counted cross stitch patterns, sketches like a pro, cartoons, has an artist’s eye … she amazes me on a daily basis. My nephew is the same way. He is a talented self-taught musician and published author and does this in his spare time. So what is my talent?

I am searching for that special spark so I can develop it so it can burst into my flame. So far all I have accomplished is I’ve spent a fortune at Michaels and Joann’s Fabrics on paint, wool, patterns and fabric. But it just sits there. How do I find that spark to create something that is me? I am trying to paint this little ceramic house to put under the tree and just making a mess. Am I being too hard on myself? How do I start feeling that I can actually do something that I will be proud of? So far I feel like all I have done is create a “can’t” list, I can’t write .. I can’t draw … I can’t paint … I can’t knit .. I can’t .. I can’t .. I can’t.

How can I?

Baby Steps

For the past two weeks I have struggled to kickstart my creative streak. I have spent hours walking around Michaels and Joanns trying to get inspired. I bought little ceramic houses with the idea of creating a Christmas village under the tree. Well after spending two days painting this little tavern I’m ready to toss it in the garbage. So frustrated I set out again. Then I remembered I still have not completed a Christmas stocking for my son and his is 26 now! I must have 12 stockings being worked on but I never have finished one. This year I will do it! My deadline is two weeks from today!