The other night my father phoned me. Yes … I know he is dead but he phoned me.
I was sleeping and I heard the phone ring. I reached up … answered it and I knew it was him. Usually when the phone rings at night I panic thinking it is bad news but this time a feeling of peace flooded me.
He spoke, not really formed words, but I heard him say to me that he loved me, was proud of me and that I made him proud.
He hung up.
Since that moment I have stopped feeling the guilt that I carried over the last two years. I know he understood that I loved him and had tried to do my best. I feel my heart is lighter and I am no longer stuck in the grief that I let him down.
I went to his grave the next day, put Christmas flowers on it and a poppy. He always wore a poppy in November. I felt a warm breeze while I stood there looking at his grave.
This also made me realize that there is something beyond death. I’m not really a religious person but a spiritual one. I know there is more than just this space … this place and that someday I will be there watching over my loved ones.
I love you dad. I will always love you … always miss you but the time of grieving is over. Keep watching over me and our family.
As you always said to me, life is too short … go enjoy it. That is exactly what I plan to do.