It would have been 36 years of marriage today. Thirty six years of ups and downs, happy and sad times and 36 years of memories together. This doesn’t even take in the years we lived together or were friends first
I remember our wedding day as if it was yesterday. The night before John was helping to clear the table after dinner and he was scraping a plate into the garbage and he turned and put his back out. He was in terrible pain and went to bed early to try and relieve it.
I slept in to conserve my energy because I was 3 months pregnant. John got a phone call and came in to talk to me. His brother, our best man, phoned to say he would not be our best man at the wedding. I cried. Already the oldest brother and his family had said they would not attend the wedding and now this. His family objected to our marriage because John had divorced his first wife. They all sided with his first wife. John and I didn’t have some sordid affair. I had already had an affair with a married man and hated the way I felt when I was seeing this man. I realized early on this man was using me but I was enamoured of him and the life he exposed me to. I told John we couldn’t have a fling. We had worked together for a few years prior to getting together and were friends first. However when he left his first wife it wasn’t long before we were together permanently. My daughter was the same way when she started dating her “sun and stars”. Basically after their first date they were never apart. It was the same for John and I. I don:t really care what other people think of how we got together but we were meant to be together
Going back to our wedding day I told John I didn’t want to marry him anymore. I told him to go back to his ex-wife and two daughters. He told me we didn’t HAVE to get married and we could continue living together. He said that no matter what, we were going to be together. Married or not. He said he would rather have me in his life and his family could go straight to hell. He said we were not going to give them the satisfaction of tearing us apart.
So he made a call to my brother who was happy to step in as best man.
At three we went to city hall to be married. Julie and Laura looked adorable in their matching pink dresses. My sister was my matron of honour.
John’s parents and my parents were there also. My dad really liked John’s parents (they were all Dutch). John’s parents were not overjoyed at the ceremony but they put on a brave face.
A justice of the peace married us. She didn’t make me feel like a number. I was so filled with love for John that I thought I would burst. He was standing ramrod straight because his back was so sore. The ceremony was beautiful. Afterwards we went behind City Hall near the creek and had our photos taken.
We had our reception at an Italian restaurant that just opened in Oshawa. Many people came and it was a wonderful evening. My new sister-in-law got drunk and knocked a planted tree over. It was only recently that I found out she and her husband spent our wedding day drinking with John’s ex-wife.
After the reception we went home. I was so happy to be home with the man I loved. To this dany I am happy we didn’t bow to the pressure of his family and we created a life without them.
My family made up for John’s family. My brother became one of John’s closest friends. We travelled together and spent weeks together in Florida. My father loved John like a son. And my nephew Stephen looked up to John like a father. John never regretted his decision to marry me, not even in our bad time.
Starting Over 