Someone asked me the other day how I’m dealing with my grief. They were trying to get me to go see a grief counselor and I replied, “I’m seeing myself.” I find that writing about my thoughts helps me to focus and I am hoping that when I reread some of the older posts I’ll see that I’m getting stronger. I know in the beginning I felt incredible despair and blackness and felt life was hopeless. I have better days now, and yes, I can say “days” instead of “moments”. Now I still cry, sob actually, but I no longer have such an overwhelming desire to die. I am discovering, and surrounding myself, with the people that want to be with me. Family and friends that share in my grief and help me find a new normal for myself. I am hurt by the disappearance of some people that I thought were concerned for me, people I thought that would be there for me during difficult times but they have either totally faded from my life or flit in and out without regard to my feelings. But I am also surprised by how some people have swept into my life and put their arms around me to comfort me and give me strength. They are my angels.