It has been 7 months now. I’ve noticed that there has been a gradual shift in my emotions this month. I realized I have accepted John’s death. Before, in my heart, I was waiting for him to come home. Now I have accepted he is gone from me. He can’t talk to me, he can’t advise me, he can’t hold me, he is gone. I still am overcome with grief throughout the day but it is almost like ripples on the ocean as opposed to large waves. It is silly little things that trigger it. I won $13 at bingo the other day and the first person I wanted to tell was John. Then in the same instant I realized he is no longer with me. It was a small ripple and not a wave. I felt my breath catch but then could move forward. Breathe in, breathe out and move on.