Dear John

Hi honey,

I miss you so much so I decided to write to you.  We used to email each other when we were apart so this is pretty much the same except I won’t get a reply.

First .. I miss you.  It is time for you to come home.  Or for me to go home with you.  Life is a challenge without my rock beside me to support and guide me.  But ….

Anyway (I remember how you hated when I said that because you knew I would be changing the subject) .. anyway here is some news.

Julie has moved to Switzerland.  Yeah, Switzerland.  She is very happy (even though it has only been a few days).  I couldn’t believe that her dogs were going but they are doing quite well there and are probably adjusting faster than Julie is.  Dogs can sleep any time.  She has been walking a great deal and that is so good for her.  She has lost a ton of weight and looks great.  She has so much more energy and life in her now.  She has such a happy glow about her.

Quinn is in college now and has really blossomed.  He’s found his happy place.  I need to go pick him up next weekend for Thanksgiving and he asked if I could come Saturday instead of Friday because he wants to hang out with his friends there.  I am so happy for him.

I had dinner with Emily on Friday night.  She’s doing well too.  Loving school and being the belle of the ball.  You would be so proud of her, honey.  Next year she’ll be going to college or university because of what you did for her.  She doesn’t know what she wants to be yet though so I am going to try and convince her to get a degree in commerce.  She could run a store, own a business and the world would be her oyster.  She is one smart cookie, much like our baby Amanda.

I don’t see Amanda much.  Only at family functions.  It breaks my heart but she is busy and I think she really doesn’t want to be around me that much.  I seem to upset her.  I can’t talk about you, I can’t talk about Florida and I can’t talk about me with her.  I don’t know what I can do to fix our relationship.  Even if we went to Hawaii together I think I’d end up spending my time alone while she and Brandon went off to explore.  After me wishing that I could spend 5 minutes again with you my next wish would be that Amanda would want to spend some time with me again.

Oh my, you would be so proud of Adam.  He’s working at Montana’s now on the line. He’s being trained to close and open so once that is done he’ll know everything there!  He loves his job.  He has been there almost 6 months.  He has a great work ethic (gee I don’t know where he got that from) but I wish he could make more money.  I have the feeling he’s going to be making minimum wage (or close to it) for many years to come before he is a restaurant manager.  One thing though is he has inherited your kidney stones.  He was taken by ambulance to the hospital in severe pain while I was in Bermuda.  He’s fine now but has a few small stones to pass.  Right now they are in a place where they aren’t bugging him.  I’m trying to get him to see Dr Morton as his specialist since Dr Morton was so good to you.

Lee has a job too and she is enjoying it.  She works at Value Village and hasn’t missed a shift!  The atmosphere in the house is so much better.  We rarely eat together though because Adam works nights and Lee works weird shifts all over the place.  I’m going to take them to Florida in February as a reward for their hard work.  Emily is going to stay here with my babies.

Yes, I have two kittens now.  They do make me laugh.  They saved my life.  They give me a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to laugh and a reason to think about something outside of me.  Callie and Obi Wan.  They remind me of KitKat and Ringo except Callie is not sickly.  She is sleek and beautiful though and loves Adam.  She talks constantly.  When I come home she races to the door yelling “Hellooo”.  She is hysterical.  You would love her except she wakes me early every morning.  We all need to go downstairs together at 6 am.  I am not looking forward to the time change.

I still have a great deal to do on the house.  I want to keep the house but I’m not sure if I can.  There is so much to take care of and I can’t do it alone.  Unfortunately Adam and Lee are not helpful there.  They still spend their spare time playing games and watching videos in their room like teenagers. I’m not sure what to do but the house isn’t ready for sale yet anyway.  I’m going to do our room and ensuite over the winter and get my craft room started.  I would really like to do it before everything freezes in the garage!

Work is the same.  I want to give up the tax returns and the corporate clients.  I’m not qualified to do this and I’m not sure why you backed me into this corner.  I need to let it all go, from the issues with Celeste to the day to day dealings with tax return clients and corporate clients.  I can’t keep up with the laws and I’m so unsure of giving advice since you never allowed me to say anything to clients in case I was wrong!  You didn’t give me the confidence to do this until it was too late and now I just can’t deal with it on my own. I don’t know if it will work out with Simon either because Simon is being Simon.  I will decide by Christmas on what I’ll do but I’m not going to recommend anyone to the clients because I did that once and that isn’t working out.  No one works like we did.  We were a dying breed but a great team.

But speaking of work … I should get to it.  I love you honey and always will.  I know you are just in a different place and maybe you will get this letter.  Respond however you can.  I always know when it is you.

All ways and forever,


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